Genre: Romantic Comedy
eBook price: $3.99
Link: http://www.amazon.com/
Excerpt:
Justin was to
Bianca’s left, a fact neither of them was happy about. Apparently
her family thought the more they clumped them together, the more
likely they were to get along. Did they know nothing?
“Beans,” she
said, staring across the table at her sister.
Gwen rolled her eyes
and buttered a roll.
Bianca’s lips
pressed together. “Beans.”
“Say the magic
word,” Justin said in a low voice.
Bianca’s face
twisted into what she was sure was something ugly. She didn’t have
a mirror handy, but she could only imagine what it looked like.
“Wimp?”
“I’m sorry,
Gwen, did you say you’d like some beans?” Justin held out the
bowl of green beans to her sister.
Gwen accepted the
bowl with a shrug directed at Bianca.
Bianca smiled
tightly and elbowed Justin under his outstretched arm. Satisfaction
washed over her at his grunt.
“I think I’m
drunk,” Uncle Bill said, staring at the ceiling light. He was to
Bianca’s right and she was ecstatic that she got to view his
magnificent male specimen up close.
“You’re drinking
non-alcoholic beers, Bill,” Dennis said, plopping a generous amount
of mashed potatoes on his plate.
Uncle Bill glanced
at his brother-in-law. “Drunk on life,” he specified, shoving ham
into his mouth and moaning in pleasure. “Delicious, Natasha.”
Sabrina and Emily
giggled behind their hands.
Nadine’s eyes
caught Bianca’s. “Don’t they remind you of us?”
Bianca scooped up
mashed potatoes and made a circle in the middle of her plate. “Sure.
Before weenie Justin came along.” She spooned a bite into her
mouth, the butter and garlic-y goodness melting on her tongue.
Justin choked on his
drink. Bianca gave him a hard whack on the back. He turned his head
and promised her death with his eyes.
“What’s...weenie?”
Emily asked, her little face set in concentration.
Sabrina, being older
and wiser, told her sister, “It’s what Bianca calls Daddy because
she loves him. It‘s a…deer…mint. Right, Mommy?”
Bianca snorted and
pulled the green beans from Justin’s limp hands.
“Uh…” was as
far as Nadine got.
“Girls, eat your
food,” Natasha told them.
“So, Mom, Dad,
what’s new?” Bianca asked, dividing her gaze between the two,
which took some time, seeing as how they were on opposite ends of the
table.
“I’ve been
thinking of buying a fishing boat.” This from her dad.
The gravy bowl
thumped to the table. Bianca looked at her mother, who was looking a
shade to the left of her husband. Not at him, never directly at him,
like he was Medusa. Which was completely unrealistic since Medusa had
been a chick and her father obviously was not, but Bianca wasn’t
going to tell her mom that.
“I started a yoga
class last Thursday and I love it. I never thought I could be so
limber. I can‘t understand why anyone would buy a fishing boat when
they never fish. Pass the rolls, Gwen.” Bianca’s mother
was a master at inserting verbal lashes at her father
mid-conversation. Bianca hoped to someday be like her.
“If I had a
boat…I’d fish,” Dennis said, looking at Uncle Bill. Uncle Bill
had the plate raised to his mouth and was licking it.
“Because docks
don’t exist, Bianca.” Her mother. Also, Natasha Fisher liked to
address other people while insulting her husband. She was a P-R-O.
“Need a roll?”
Justin asked, and threw one at Bianca’s head. It bounced off her
ear and landed, amazingly, on her plate in a puddle of butter.
She gave him a
thumps up. “Thanks. Less work for me.”
“How about some
ham?”
“Justin,” Nadine
said warningly when he reached for the dish full of delicious,
steaming meat baked in brown sugar and pineapple.
“Hit me,” Bianca
said, holding her plate under Justin’s nose.
He looked at it,
clearly thinking of spitting on it or something equally vile and
Justin-like, and instead slapped one tinny tiny piece of ham on it.
Bianca shook the plate until he added another slightly larger piece.
“You’re the
best,” she said, batting her eyelashes.
“Don’t choke,”
he said, smiling evilly.
“I wouldn’t give
you the pleasure.”
“You never did.”
“Listen, you
little toad—”
“All right.”
Natasha shot to her feet, startling the table into quiet. “Can’t
we act like a normal family and have a normal meal with normal
conversation?”
“Define normal,”
Bianca said.
“Real mature,
Bianca,” Gwen said.
“Define mature.”
“Bianca started
it,” Justin said.
“Real mature,
Justin,” Bianca scoffed, rolling her eyes.
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